Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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