He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
