Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
