Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
