alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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