I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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