woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
