I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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