dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
