Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize