I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
