10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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