don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
