your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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