I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
