first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
