sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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