At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
