6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I believe in your delicious
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