Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My ass is underappreciated
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
