After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
