Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
