best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
