party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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