I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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