Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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