So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
