Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize