the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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