wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
