They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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