Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
