But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
