I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
