Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
