My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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