Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
