Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
