I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
