Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
