I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
