Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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