I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
