hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize