i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
