i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
