he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
