Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
did i walk over a car last night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
