Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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