at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize