i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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