You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
