Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Randomize
