The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
