And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
