I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
