I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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