Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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