She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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