Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
