I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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