I could have mohawked her pubes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
